What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me?

Have you ever felt like that? 

It comes unexpectedly. Suddenly you remind yourself of an imperfect moment and then your face starts to feel extremely warm and you consider yourself simply awful. Maybe it's another failure to discipline yourself into getting a task done, or maybe it's the thought that you might never achieve what you wanted to.

When this happens, there is no way to stay focused on what you are doing right now. Instead, you just want to escape and watch a show or play a game to relieve the anxiety. But then you fail to finish your task within the deadline and delay them again and again. You eventually give up on yourself and ask: what is wrong with me?

The answer to this question is simple. That is nothing. 

The reason why you are feeling anxious in this way is that you have not accepted the fact that you are not perfect. An “idealised” version of yourself has been formed in your mind, and the discrepancy with your idealised self creates this negative emotion – anxiety. 

Perhaps you are constantly feeling bad about yourself and want to become this “ideal” self. However, the more you want to do everything perfectly, the more you worry about the frustration of not succeeding, and ultimately you spend more time procrastinating a task.

The better and smarter your idealised self is, the more frustrated and emotional you are in life. Thus, it creates internal conflict. The internal conflict consumes your energy and passion, breaks down your confidence, and builds up negative emotions.

What’s important to know here is that these feelings aren’t unusual and there are strategies you can use to change the way you think about yourself. To make you less anxious and more focused.

First of all, let yourself rest. Allow yourself to do something not relevant to the task you are trying to achieve, like watching movies, playing video games, and sleeping. Although this kind of activity may not help directly finishing your task, it does help you to relax.

Secondly, encourage yourself. Give yourself great recognition and replace negative comments with positive ones about yourself to reduce frustration for every bit of progress, effort, and gain in life. For example, instead of “I’m so weak, I only did 10 sit-ups,” change your thinking to “I did 10 sit-ups, that’s 10 more than I could have done!” It is recommended to design achievable goals that are in line with your current state based on your long-term goal.

Thirdly, if you have a psychology service provider near you, you can turn to them for help. Establishing a trustworthy relationship with your near by psychologist or psychologist in Canberra will be helpful for you to overcome these negative feelings.